*This is my 2,000th post. Go figure.*
I’m struggling with my digital photography these days, specifically the paid stuff (mostly family portrait sessions). My film work - it’s just…easy. Natural. I love my results and I don’t have to try. I just shoot what I see and everything else falls into place.
But the digital stuff? That’s another story. I’ve done two family shoots with the new camera, and there’s a big disconnect in where I think the photos should be and where I think they actually are. I cried last night in frustration. Are these photos of a “paid for” quality? I’m not sure. I compare myself to others (never a good thing, but how can you not?) and feel like I’ve fallen short. I can’t get the processing down - they don’t mirror the look and feel and quality of my film stuff. Are they over-processed, or do they look natural? I’ve lost all footing here; I just can’t tell.
A part of my gut says that in five or ten years I’ll look back at the mess that was (is) my twenties and realize it was all part of the journey. Maybe future-me will love the photos I’ve recently taken, maybe I’ll laugh at how far I’ve come. I just hope that one day, “my” work and “client” work won’t look so disparagingly different.
Ugh, being a creative is hard sometimes, you guys.